You're so beautiful

Somebody wrote that on a business card that was sitting on my desk. I'd like to think it was directed to me. It turned my day around quite literally. I have hope that it could be true.

Control me

Like you used to...

No
You don't move me anymore
And I'm glad that you don't
'cause I can't have you anymore
But I thought you should know
You don't move me anymore
And I'm glad that you don't
Because I can't take it anymore

............................................................
I won't stop 'til I've given you up.

Hello

What do you dream of?

Oh you silly boys

I'm not going to fuck you.
You're not going to fuck me!
Why, you hardly give me any pleasure at all,
you're just cheap entertainment.

I took the stars from our eyes

And then I made a map.
I knew that somehow,
I could find my way back.

Then I heard your heart beating,
you were in the darkness too;
So I stayed in the darkness with you.



When I go to India in June, there will have to be a stop in Paris on my way home, so that I can see Florence + The Machine on the 16th and basically complete my life. That will be the best birthday gift to myself I could possibly think of. Two tickets shall be purchased, in case I meet a friend along the way. That way, what will be such an amazing experience, can be shared with someone besides myself.

BRAIN! HEART! STOP CONFLICTING SO MUCH! Can't, cannot, CAN NOT stop thinking so much. Exhaustion. Time for an overhaul! My room has been overhauled, and now it's definitely my turn; body, mind, soul. What is so wrong with getting what you want? With having things your way? How come I've let the despair from two years ago still affect my body, after my mind has been free for so long... This heart is healed. Well, patched up in the least. Bandaided. How much would I love for someone to hold me, hold me together. I would hold on too; hold on tight, but tight enough to let you go.



The stars
The moon
They have all been blown out.
You have left me in the dark.

I'd spend the night

And I'd lose my mind.

I tried writing out how I felt so many times now, and I just couldn't figure out what I wanted to say. So how could I have told you? If I couldn't even tell myself, how was I supposed to tell you? Yes, it took every ounce of self control not to touch you. No, I did not want to tell you that though, there was not a right time, nor a right place. I truly believe that you know this is true, and now you're just living up to that statement, and doing your best to absolutely torture me. Everything inside of me is frustrated and confused. For some reason, you can not find it in your heart to even consider forgiving me. I hardly lied, I only hid my feelings away, and rightfully so. We had made an agreement, so I, at that time, was not ready to breach those terms. Now look, look what you've done.

I kissed a girl

and I liked it




Actually, I had a threesome with a trans and a lesbian.
It was prettttty interesting to say the least.

I'm Bleeding

FUCK YOU MENSTRUATION
I was the craziest fucking bitch ALL weekend. I'm up, I'm down, I'm face first on the ground. In, and out, oh you know what it's all about. I don't know if I've ever been so excitable, anxious, and angry all at the same time. This paired with my usual overtiredness and natural quirky ways, was not exactly the best combination. I'm so glad that this is over, and I can continue on with my life now. This is the most undramatic exit, to a musical of a weekend.

Memory Tapes

Your sound is so right. Everything I'm going through is playing along to Seek Magic like a video. The inside of my head is kind of like the weather outside of my window right now; Messy, wet, it's a blizzard, it's stinging my eyes. Don't close your eyes.

I want to give you my love, I want to call your name.
At the sound of my voice you turn away.

Flirtation

Is not a talent that I possess.